Episode 15: Scott Schwartz!

[00:00] Scott: Hey everybody, this is Scotty Schwartz. You know, Flick from A Christmas Story. I triple dog dare you to continue to listen to Bobby and Jason’s Awesome 80s Podcast.

[00:14] Bobby: Righty-o. We are here live in Las Vegas on tape, my brother.

[00:18] Jason: That’s right, my man. Give me some skin.

[00:21] Bobby: Woo. Come here then. My name is Bobby Catalano, and over there is…

[00:24] Jason: Jason Pascoe.

[00:25] Bobby: And we are Bobby and Jason’s Awesome ’80s Podcast. Today I’m so excited about today’s show.

[00:45] Jason: I’m so excited too.

[00:47] Bobby: We have a special guest, I’ll tell you about her in a minute, but we wanna recap 14 from last week. We talked about our boys, Wham!.

[02:06] Jason: You were a little confused about the second album. What happened to Edge of Heaven?

[02:20] Bobby: But it’s good to talk about George Michael. He was such a big part of our lives, and everybody who follows us knows that. I don’t know if we mentioned this, that he wrote us a letter, back in the day, and Dave Raymond, the first host of Dance Party USA, read the letter on the air. I think I misplaced it, I should have it framed.

[02:54] Jason: Yeah, you’ve got like a bunker where you keep all your mail. Somebody said that you should do a lip sync to it. I left a snarky comment, said he should redo it, it would be great.

[03:08] Bobby: I don’t think that’s gonna happen. But hopefully everybody out there is in the Halloween spirit. Speaking of Halloween, I know you like to dress up.

[03:18] Jason: I love dressing up for Halloween. But one thing we’re not gonna be this year is clowns.

[03:23] Bobby: Oh, the crazy clowns in the street harassing people.

[03:28] Jason: It’s like A Clockwork Orange. I think in some sick way it’s all a promotion for the new It movie. Because you don’t see on the news any killer clowns, you just hear one or two little incidents.

[03:45] Bobby: It’s messed up though. It’s affecting the real clowns who do business. Kids have parties, the clown would show up, and now nobody wants to hire clowns.

[03:57] Jason: I mean, not even a happy clown. You know inside any happy clown doing a kid’s party, it’s a crazy person.

[04:08] Bobby: Maybe one day we’ll dress up as clowns.

[04:09] Jason: I’ve heard you’ll get arrested, you’re not allowed to be one for Halloween. It’s a marketing thing, like when they used to have those lights on the sneakers in the ’80s, those little flashing LED lights, “kid lost, is found,” and you find out it’s really a marketing arm for Reebok or something.

[04:30] Bobby: By the way, this is episode 15, I don’t know if we even said that, we just blew through to the Christmas stuff.

[04:38] Jason: Bob and I are just two chatty Cathys here.

[04:40] Bobby: But anyway, we have a special guest coming up. Everybody knows who he is ’cause he was in the intro, he double dog dared you.

[04:59] Jason: We did do a pre-tape of it, we told you about it last episode. Scotty Schwartz, just a cool dude, man. He’s just totally cool.

[05:12] Bobby: Scott Schwartz is a real dude, real down to earth, real nice guy, and he’s working on a lot of cool projects, he’s gonna talk about them.

[05:19] Jason: You guys will get a chance to check this out. Everybody’s getting ready for the marathons of A Christmas Story, most people know all the words, so this is gonna be a treat, because he lets us in on the inside scoop of what went on behind it.

[05:40] Bobby: Let’s do it, let’s roll it.

[05:45] Bobby: I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple days, and he’s very cool, really laid back, and I’m sure a lot of you remember him. He was in a little movie called A Christmas Story, and also in another film called The Toy with Richard Pryor and Jackie Gleason, and we are talking about Scotty Schwartz. How you doing, brother?

[06:13] Scott: How you doing?

[06:14] Jason: There you go, a Jersey guy.

[06:16] Bobby: He’s got that accent going.

[06:22] Scott: I’m a big fan of Enzo Amore from WWE. Enzo’s got this thing, “how you doing, how you doing.”

[06:31] Bobby: Very fam, so you’re a big wrestling fan?

[06:36] Scott: Yeah, I worked for them, I ring crewed for about 16 months. It was the greatest non-paying job I ever had.

[06:47] Bobby: Hey, man, when you’re a fan of anything you’ll do it for cookies, for nothing.

[06:54] Scott: I met Big John Studd, if you remember him, the guy that used to face Andre the Giant all the time. Met him in an audition, and I knew wrestling, my mom was a fan, my dad couldn’t stand it. I talked to him, he invited us to come see him, gave me his home phone number, and I went and saw him, and then started meeting all the guys, and the next thing you know I had a non-paying job.

[07:33] Bobby: That’s awesome. And I remember those guys, like Paddy Piper, was that his name?

[07:37] Jason: Rowdy, Rowdy Piper.

[07:39] Jason: That’s when it was really big back then, Superfly Snuka.

[07:42] Bobby: And Hulk Hogan, right?

[07:45] Scott: Rowdy Rowdy Piper was like a second dad, we were very close for almost 30 years, and then he passed on, but that was my era. Randy “Macho Man” Savage and Miss Elizabeth, which I have a little 18-month-old mini teacup Chihuahua, and she’s named after Miss Elizabeth.

[08:09] Scott: And Brutus Beefcake and Hulk Hogan, just an assortment of guys that became my friends. I was out of it for a while, and then met Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Lawler kinda dragged me back in, and then I got to see some of my old friends, my ring crew buddies, and saw the McMahons, and Stephanie kinda looked at me like, “I know you but I’m not sure,” and I told her, “I used to do stuff for your dad,” and she’s like, “Oh my God, I remember you, my dad talked about you.” And now they’re like a big second family of cousins that I see here and there.

[08:54] Bobby: That’s awesome. Well, let’s take it back to the ’80s, let’s talk about A Christmas Story. How did you land that role?

[09:03] Scott: Easiest audition I ever had.

[09:07] Speaker 4: How’s that?

[09:08] Bobby: What did you do, you just showed up?

[09:12] Scott: Honestly, that’s pretty much all I had to do. The Toy had opened in the movie theaters already, a couple of weeks before, and I met up with Bob Clark, the director of Christmas Story. He had already seen the movie, and he just wanted to shoot the bull. I walked in, we talked for a bit, he said “I’m really hungry,” I said “You wanna go out for a hot dog?” We went outside, his dad came, we had a hot dog, continued to chitchat, came back in, and he said, “I gotta tell you, it was really nice to meet you, thanks for coming in.” That was it.

[09:49] Jason: That’s sweet, that’s it, gonna be easier than that.

[09:52] Bobby: And then you got the job immediately?

[09:55] Scott: Within 10 minutes. I walked up to my agent’s office and he had already called and said, “Scotty got the movie, no problem.”

[10:04] Bobby: That’s awesome, so Flick was born in that moment.

[10:08] Scott: Exactly, Flick was made over a red hot dog in a condition of unity.

[10:14] Bobby: So now the movie’s played over and over again in December, sometimes they do 24 hours.

[10:22] Jason: It starts in October, I think.

[10:24] Bobby: Do you still watch it, what does your family think of this movie?

[10:32] Scott: I can’t watch the whole thing, I watched it enough as a kid, because when you do a movie as a youngster, your family wants to watch it with you, your friends, your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, everybody wants to invite you over to watch it with you as if you haven’t seen it yet.

[10:57] Jason: So you’re constantly acting around your family while you’re watching yourself act?

[11:03] Scott: I probably saw it, God knows, 400 times. I watch particular scenes I like, the bully things, and anything with Darren McGavin is great, the “fra-gee-lay” restaurant scene, it must be Italian, it’s funny. But actually watch my scenes, I just can’t do it.

[11:30] Bobby: You have one of the most iconic scenes in the film, with the pole and the tongue, the Triple Dog Dare, as they called it.

[11:39] Scott: I’m not degrading it in any way, I’m just saying it’s me, and I’ve seen it 400 times. I’m married and divorced, so I could almost equate it, ’cause I have friends who’ve been married many years, it’s like waking up the same morning next to the same chick, it’s like, “really, okay.”

[12:06] Jason: You’ve gotta do a lot of conventions, and when people come up and ask you about it, what are the main things they ask?

[12:18] Scott: Fans are wonderful, they’re great, they all wanna have their moment, and they wanna know, how’s your tongue, was it real? Some said a plastic tongue, it was a plastic pole. That’s just very typical. I’ve said it for years, it’s a really cool thing to have done something where I was a small piece of a big puzzle. I worked for six weeks, and two things came out of it that anybody would consider cool.

[13:09] Scott: Number one, some great people out of Indiana erected a full-size bronze statue of me with the tongue stuck to the pole.

[13:20] Bobby: That there is an incredible compliment.

[13:23] Jason: That really is.

[13:25] Scott: There’s like 26 or 27 actors in the world who have bronze statues, I’m one of them, it’s hysterical. And the second thing is it’s a compliment to basically have the second most famous tongue in the world after Jason.

[13:47] Jason: Nice.

[13:48] Bobby: You said it perfectly. So when you were making A Christmas Story, did the cast and crew understand what an iconic film it would be, or did you have no clue?

[14:04] Scott: This was a movie that realistically never should’ve been made, that’s sort of how things happen in this crazy world. This was not a movie MGM wanted to make, they had no interest in it. Bob Clark had done a bunch of small budget things, Black Christmas, then he hit Porky’s.

[14:31] Scott: And this is the exact opposite of A Christmas Story.

[14:35] Jason: It sure is, you can’t get any different.

[14:38] Scott: It’s the furthest away from wholesome. So he does Porky’s, and they wanted him to do Porky’s II, and he said, “Absolutely, right after I do A Christmas Story.” They said, “No, you gotta do Porky’s right now.” He said, “Porky’s is gonna be a 10-week shoot, no special effects, done real fast, then I’m gonna do my movie.” They argued with him, fought with him, wouldn’t give him a whopping $5 million to make A Christmas Story, they’d only give him 4.

[15:14] Jason: Even after that success, wow.

[15:16] Scott: Today that’s nothing, but Porky’s had made so much money, they had no choice. This guy wants to make his little Christmas wholesome movie, then get back to penis jokes in Porky’s II.

[15:35] Bobby: MGM is very happy they let him do his film, look at the success.

[15:43] Scott: They make A Christmas Story, spend the money, then they didn’t wanna release it, never wanted to put it in theaters. And because Bob Clark owned a piece of the film, he called Darren McGavin and said, “I wanna buy this thing out from them and release it.” Darren McGavin loved it, said “Let’s go do it.” They talked to MGM about buying the film, and finally MGM said, “All right, we’ll just put this movie out, shut up already.”

[16:11] Bobby: Best decision they ever made.

[16:14] Scott: And it gets made, we come out, the first week it did okay, the second week people started coming out, theaters went up, third week theaters went up, fourth week Rambo III came out and knocked us out of most theaters, the following week we were gone. We were in theaters all of one month.

[16:36] Bobby: Right.

[16:38] Scott: They threw it on VHS, and it started to become this cult thing, people going “have you seen this movie, here’s my copy, you gotta watch this.”

[16:48] Jason: Yeah, I remember that, I think I had a copy of that from somebody else.

[16:53] Scott: It sat there with a small cult following. In ’96, 13 years after the film came out, Ted Turner was buying most of MGM’s film library, and the story is they needed two more movies to finish the package. Christmas Story wasn’t even on their radar. Ted Turner’s secretary heard they needed a movie and she knew Christmas Story, and she said to Ted, “Have you ever seen this movie?” He said no, so she went home and the next day brought in her VHS copy.

[17:41] Scott: Ted Turner and Jane Fonda watched it in the office and said, “This is wonderful,” so they called MGM and threw it into the package. Then they put it on the 24-hour marathon, and the rest is history, the rest is culture.

[17:58] Bobby: And in a month or two it’s gonna start playing again.

[18:06] Scott: There’s only been three films they’ve done it with. They did it with The Wizard of Oz, one year, it did okay, never did it again. Then the Jimmy Stewart picture, It’s a Wonderful Life, did it the first year, okay, tried again, didn’t do so well, that was the end of that. Then Christmas Story, it started out okay, the ratings went up the next year, and kept going up. This is basically the 20th anniversary of the marathon, and they still get 50, 55, 60 million viewers on a movie 30-something years old, on VHS, DVD, On Demand, Netflix, Hulu, and it still shows.

[18:56] Bobby: That tells you how timeless it is, different generations enjoying it, I think it’s gonna continue.

[19:07] Scott: It’s more just nice that, for me, I get phone calls from friends at all godly hours. In the ’90s I was getting calls from Eric Davis, Cecil Fielder, Barry Bonds, all my baseball player friends, and Shaquille O’Neal, “Hey dude, you’re on.” I’m like, “It’s 4:30 AM, are you seriously calling me?”

[19:40] Jason: Those are some cool guys to get called by at 4:30 in the morning.

[19:44] Bobby: Tell us about The Toy, you worked with two legends, Jackie Gleason and Richard Pryor.

[19:53] Scott: An experience beyond imagination. I’ll start with Gleason, everybody said he hates working with kids and animals, gonna be a hard time. I was a Gleason fan, I knew him from The Honeymooners, from Smokey and the Bandit, and I would do impressions of him, and he thought it was absolutely hysterical.

[20:21] Bobby: Can we get one, can you do an impression?

[20:26] Scott: Of Gleason? The scene where the guy knocks the door off the car and Gleason comes up to Mike Henry, who plays Junior, and he goes, “There’s no way, no way that you could come from my loins. Soon as you get, first thing I’m gonna do is punch your mama in the mouth.” “I saw that, you sumbitch, you’re gonna whittle your queen, I’ve got the evidence.” “Junior, put the evidence in the car.” “But Daddy, I put the evidence in the car.” “I’m gonna put you, your ass in molasses.”

[21:16] Bobby: That’s awesome, I remember that vividly.

[21:20] Scott: That’s why I started it. Gleason thought it was funny that here’s a kid who’s 4’5″, weighed 52 pounds, and I’m doing him, and he enjoyed it to the point where he took the time over the shooting to help me, educate me, taught me how to shoot pool in the house.

[21:48] Bobby: How cool is that?

[21:49] Scott: It was phenomenal, we had good conversations about vintage Hollywood, I was a big fan of the old days, talking to him about music in the ’50s with Sinatra, he loved it, I’m 14 years old, it was terrific.

[22:08] Scott: So I got along with him. And Richard Pryor, there is no human on planet Earth I don’t think has ever existed to be so kind, caring for a kid, generous with his time, fun, studious, wanted to be a teacher at the same time. He’d be sitting reading a book, underlining something, and ask me, “Do you know much about World War II,” or whatever, and he’d share things with me and teach me, and that lasted the entire time, on the set, off the set, up until the time he couldn’t even talk anymore. He was my friend, my older brother, my muse.

[23:03] Scott: Beyond belief. Before you guys had started, we had talked about Coming to America, that all became because of Richard. I’m at his house one day, chit-chatting, something came on with Eddie Murphy, I mentioned I was a fan of his, and he said “who else do you like,” I mentioned a bunch of people, and he said, “do you listen to the comedy albums,” and I said, “not really, I’ve listened to yours, I’ve listened to a couple of Redd Foxx albums, I like them but not as much as you.” About a week later he calls me, 11:30 in the morning, “what are you doing,” I’m like “nothing,” “come on over to the house.” I go over, as soon as I walk in we walk back out, I’m like “where are we going,” he goes “doesn’t matter, come on, let’s get in the car.” Picture this, a 40-something year old African American gentleman driving the white boy in the white Rolls Royce.

[24:02] Bobby: What a great visual.

[24:05] Scott: We go down into Hollywood, he takes me into Paramount, and if you know anything about the studios, you pull up to the gate, the guy looks in the car and goes, “Oh, Mr. Pryor, how are you sir, you go right ahead.”

[24:22] Bobby: Respect.

[24:22] Scott: We pull onto the Paramount lot, he takes me to the sound stage, the sign says Coming to America, I don’t know what that is, it’s not made yet, it’s just in production, nobody knew what it was. I walk in the door, we walk around for four minutes, and there’s Eddie Murphy. Richard brings me up front and says, “Hey Eddie, this is my boy Scotty from the Tour, my little buddy.” “Yeah, this is my little brother.” That was it, I was in.

[24:48] Jason: Wow.

[24:49] Bobby: You’re there with two legends, what a…

[24:51] Jason: How awesome is that?

[24:54] Scott: I was there for a whole day, met James Earl Jones, and John Amos, who’s still one of my good friends, and everybody, Arsenio, whatever. I’m Richard’s boy, which was fine, it’s okay for a little Jewish kid to be a Black man’s kid.

[25:16] Bobby: Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with that.

[25:17] Jason: Not at all.

[25:19] Scott: By far, the most incredible human being I will ever meet. It would take a miracle for anybody to knock him off that platform.

[25:31] Jason: Thank you for sharing that, because a lot of people, ourselves included, didn’t know the depths of how he was like that.

[25:38] Bobby: The relationship you had with Richard, it’s great.

[25:43] Scott: I guess it had to be about the time I started working at The Comedy Store in the late ’80s, I was seeing Richard a lot. We were at Mel’s Diner on Sunset one night, late, sitting in the back, his back to the door so nobody could see him and bother him. I said, “You have no ego, you are who you are, I know you’re Richard, but you have no ego, how is that possible?” And he looked at me dead square in the face, serious as a heart attack, and goes, “And how much does ego pay?”

[26:27] Bobby: Yes.

[26:28] Scott: I said, “Well, nothing, it’s a mindset.” He goes, “I understand that, but is it beneficial to me, my family, my home, my car payment, any of that?” I said, “Well, no.” He said, “Then why bother to have it?”

[26:43] Bobby: That’s incredible, wow.

[26:44] Jason: That is, what a thing for you to learn from someone like that, that’s amazing, Scotty.

[26:53] Bobby: I mean, you took it one step further, don’t you celebrate him every year with something called the 10 days of Richard Pryor?

[27:02] Scott: Honestly, I celebrate him every day, 365. He’s in me, he instilled things in me, he taught me things, he showed me a path. It’s funny because I was at a certain age, I had my 14th birthday while we were shooting the film, so I’m pre-puberty. We’d be sitting in our director’s chairs, and he’d look at me and say, “So what do you think of her?” And I’d go, “Oh, she’s pretty hot.” He’d go, “Yeah, she was in my room last night.”

[27:39] Bobby: That’s so great. When I watched The Toy, and you were in that warehouse, it was like your room with the pinball machines and everything, as a kid I was like, man, I wanna be in that room. What did you feel like being on the set as a 14-year-old?

[27:57] Scott: I started, it was a job, that’s how I have to put it in perspective. The beginnings of it was a job, the first day was a disaster, that’s a whole different story, but once I got past that first week it wasn’t a job anymore, they made it fun. Richard made it fun, Richard Donner made it fun, the crew guys made it fun. I had a pinball machine in my hotel room, they said “what do you like to do when you’re not on the set,” I said “I play pinball,” I used to play at the 42nd Street Arcade in Manhattan, I even have a certificate, I’m a pinball wizard.

[28:39] Bobby: Nice, nice.

[28:42] Scott: So I play pinball, they said “okay, no problem,” didn’t even say anything, I got back to the room and one of those Haunted Mansion pinball machines was in my room.

[28:52] Jason: That’s, they took care of you, that was good looking out.

[28:57] Scott: At the time, you guys are probably in the vicinity of my age, middle-aged. Mattel Intellivision had just come out, you had Atari 2600 and Mattel Intellivision.

[29:14] Jason: I had them both, I know what you’re talking about.

[29:18] Scott: They sent over five machines because we were promoting the film in the toy store, when you’re seeing Richard and the Wonder Wheel kind of side view behind us, you see a big sign, Mattel Intellivision. They sent over five machines, gave me one, I had Burger Time, Asteroids, Missile Command.

[29:40] Bobby: Yeah, man, you’re bringing back some memories.

[29:44] Scott: One of the other people who got one was Richard. The normal schedule, five days a week, 11:00 to 11:30 PM local time in Baton Rouge, The Honeymooners was on television. 11:32, my phone would ring, “Scotty, it’s Richard, come into my room.” “What’s going on?” “I just gotta talk to you, come on over.” So I’d walk across the courtyard and go up to his room. “What’s going on?” “I just got this new game, Donkey Kong, come on, we gotta play.”

[30:15] Bobby: One of my all-time favorites.

[30:19] Scott: We would play video games until 4:30, 5:00 in the morning, I’d go back to my room, pass out until 6:00, they’d pick me up in the car, I’d go back to sleep until I got to the set, jump in the makeup chair, have a cup of coffee and a bagel, and I was ready to go.

[30:37] Jason: You were living the dream, man.

[30:40] Bobby: You were. I remember the scene where you and Richard were driving those go-karts around the lawn, crashing and everything, must’ve been the time of your life.

[30:52] Scott: They taught me how to ride a motorcycle, I was riding a Yamaha 40 and a 60, and we had the little cars, the white Camaro sports car thing and the truck, it was party central. Was there a job to do? Absolutely, I had everything down before I walked off the plane, I knew everybody’s lines, and Richard Donner was cool enough that he said, “Go with what you think is good, work with Richard, talk to Richard, he’ll tell you.” And that was it, and we made it fun.

[31:37] Bobby: Yeah, you could tell watching the film, it’s just a fun film to watch.

[31:42] Jason: It looked like you had a lot of, a real good time. Might’ve been a job, but it really looked like a lot of fun.

[31:46] Bobby: Tell us something really close to your heart, Minor Consideration, what is that all about?

[31:55] Scott: A Minor Consideration is a 501C4 charity, which means we can change laws, a 501C3 is no different except you can’t do legislation. It’s for child labor laws across the spectrum, actors, singers, dancers, musicians, models, to make sure laws are enforced and created to protect children in the entertainment industry.

[32:26] Bobby: Wow, that’s much needed.

[32:26] Scott: There’s been so many stories of parents pissing kids’ money away, taking advantage of them. Unless they shoot in California, New York, or Chicago, or a few other states, there’s no labor laws. This is actually on the books, done in the ’30s when the studio heads, Louis B. Mayer and Jack Warner, ran the studios, and it was treated as a family, so when you had the Shirley Temples and Jackie Coogans and Mickey Rooneys as a kid, they were protected because the studio heads made sure they were okay. The studio heads went to the lawmakers and said, “Don’t overburden us with children, they’re our children.” They said okay. To this day, the law is still active, children in the entertainment industry are federally exempt from working laws.

[33:24] Jason: Oh, wow.

[33:26] Scott: If you think about what that means, a dog, a pony, any kind of animal on a set, there’s approximately 120 pages of legislature to protect that animal. You bring a human child on a set, there’s three paragraphs.

[33:46] Bobby: That’s crazy.

[33:47] Jason: That’s insane.

[33:50] Bobby: I didn’t know that.

[33:50] Jason: I didn’t know that either.

[33:52] Scott: There’s many states that have no child labor laws, they say “we don’t have to, you guys are federally exempt.”

[34:01] Bobby: Is that why you see a lot of films and TV shows going out of Hollywood and shooting in other states?

[34:08] Scott: Of course, you’ve got more studios going up in Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Louisiana, they have very few labor laws to begin with, let alone child labor laws.

[34:27] Jason: Wow, never knew that.

[34:28] Scott: The one thing I always say is we are a product, we are not a person. Children on a set are products, they use them, they get done with them, they’re onto the next one, it’s the Rubik’s Cube effect, you’re hot today and not hot tomorrow. So part of what I specialize in is I like to talk to the kids, I say “I know you’re 12 years old, on this TV series making $40,000 a week,” which they don’t even comprehend what that means.

[35:09] Bobby: They have no idea.

[35:10] Scott: I try to explain that being an actor is a wonderful job, but it’s the worst job in the world, because you make no decisions. You can be the greatest actor ever created, but if the guy across the table is looking for somebody two inches shorter or taller, you don’t get that job. They want blue eyes, you have hazel eyes, you’re out, they want blonde, you’re a brunette, you’re out. Henry Thomas is a good example, dead serious, I used to call him the Al Pacino of the kids, very serious. Whereas me, I was a wild card, fun and crazy, more the Gleason, Pryor, let’s go have a good time kid. Save your money, understand this is not going to last forever. Especially kids on TV series, I tell them, every week you’re shooting, what do you wanna do? I’ve had kids say “I wanna be a producer,” great, do you sit in on the producers meetings? “Well no, I just watch them.” Forget that, go ask the producer if you can sit in on a production meeting, I guarantee he’ll say yes, because he wants you happy and not upset, and if you’re showing that much interest he wants to see what you can do.

[36:44] Scott: You wanna direct, you wanna produce, you wanna write, go sit on those meetings, you will learn so much, just walk in, keep your mouth shut, eyes and ears open, and you will get a free education that will last you until you’re dead, and you will always have a job.

[37:01] Bobby: Yeah, man, that’s great advice.

[37:03] Jason: Really smart, especially starting so young. Where are you at right now with Minor Consideration, pushing for any legislation, how far along are you?

[37:12] Scott: We’ve changed legislature. It started in 1989 by Paul Petersen, who was on the Donna Reed Show, he started it for a different reason, for people in need, they needed to talk to somebody, a friend of his committed suicide, and he wanted to make a group of people who’d been there, done that. If somebody’s in trouble mentally they can talk to somebody, we have doctors, lawyers, in all phases, surgeon or psychiatrist. You need something and you call us, you qualify, meaning you were a child actor, we’re gonna get you to the right person. None of us get paid, it’s not a paying gig, we make nothing.

[38:07] Scott: I give anywhere from 10 to 25 hours a week talking to people. I had a young actress call me yesterday, did a lot of stuff in the ’70s, her parents pissed all her money away, I said, “I don’t know the statute of limitations, what can or cannot be done, but this is the attorney to talk to, he specializes in entertainment law.”

[38:29] Jason: You can definitely tell you’re passionate about it, and who better to talk about it than someone in your position, coming up how you did.

[38:35] Bobby: You’re an advocate, and it shows how much you care about these kids, they need people like you, because when you’re 12 you don’t know what’s going on.

[38:45] Jason: You don’t.

[38:46] Scott: I hit the point where, I don’t say this with disrespect to anybody, but I got tired of losing peers and friends, Dana Plato goes, Haim went, Gary Coleman went, Jonathan Brandis hung himself. What is it gonna take, how many DUIs, how many drugged out kids do we need to see? On a big scale, there’s drugs everywhere, Oklahoma, Mississippi, or LA, kids on speed, crack, uppers, downers. That was never me, but kids in show business are under the microscope, something happens it gets blown way out of proportion. How do we prevent that? A 15-year-old kid on a Disney show begins hanging out with the wrong crowd, and his parent is concerned.

[39:52] Scott: I did this, that’s why I’m telling the story. I talked to the mom, went to see the kid, said “I’m gonna take your son out for a little drive, you’ll be fine, take my word for it.” She said okay, I took the kid out on Sunset Boulevard and stopped in front of the Viper Room.

[40:13] Jason: Oh, River Phoenix.

[40:14] Scott: I said, “Do you know who River Phoenix is?” The kid’s 15, says “no idea.” I said, “You are standing on the spot he OD’d, he dropped dead exactly where you’re standing. He was a child actor just like you, started hanging out with the wrong crowd just like you, starts with a little smoking of pot and drinking, then it goes to different places.” We continued to talk, I got back in the car, we went somewhere else, talked, took him home. I said, “I have one request, your homework, it’ll take about three minutes, go on Google, look up the Wikipedia page for River Phoenix, read it, think about it, put yourself in his shoes at the age and what you’re doing.” “I’m not gonna tell you what to do, I’m not your daddy, I’m just gonna tell you we don’t wanna see this happen to you, we want you to be happy, be wealthy, by the time you’re 18 or 20 you don’t have to work another day in your life, but have a good life.” He looked at me and said okay. I talked to his mom for a few minutes, then went home. She called me two weeks later, “my kid hasn’t said five words about you, but on the other hand he hasn’t seen those people, hasn’t been drinking, hasn’t been smoking pot, I don’t even know how to begin to thank you.” I said, “You don’t have to thank me, him listening and learning is thanks enough.” I wanted to just put this in this kid’s head.

[42:06] Bobby: Right.

[42:07] Scott: And it worked.

[42:08] Bobby: Yeah, you made a point and he listened.

[42:11] Jason: Wow, big props to you, bro. Lot of respect.

[42:16] Scott: It’s tough. Now I’ll give you the other side of the coin. Frankie Muniz, I’ll even tell you who he is, he was doing Malcolm in the Middle, making five, 600,000 a week. Next door to their sound stage was a show called Titus, shooting on Fox, the younger brother in Titus was Zach Ward, who played Scut Farkus, the bully, in Christmas Story.

[42:44] Scott: He and I are friends, and I’m going over to the set all the time, and one of the crew guys from Malcolm in the Middle came over and said, “Scotty, can you try and talk some sense into this kid’s head, he’s an idiot.” I said okay, we would shoot basketball all the time on the side of the sound stage, I knew Frankie, he was cool. One day I said, “You’re in season nine or ten, you got a couple more years to go, what are you gonna do after this?” He said, “I’m gonna produce.” I said, “That’s wonderful, are you going to the production meetings?” “No.” “Then how you gonna know how to produce?” “I’ll figure it out.” “If that doesn’t work, what else?” “I wanna write.” “Are you going and sitting in with the writers?” “No.” “Then how you gonna learn how to write?” “I can read a script.” “Great, strike two. Let’s just say that doesn’t work either, what are you gonna do?” The answer of the decade, “I’m going to become a race car driver.”

[43:47] Jason: Wow, that’s the answer of the decade, bro.

[43:55] Scott: I’m not sure if you ever watch the Indianapolis 500, I don’t see Frankie Muniz sitting in a car.

[44:04] Scott: It took him a couple of years and he burned through all the money, lost the multimillion dollar house in Malibu, and where do you see him now? Nowhere. Some you can call saving, I don’t call it saving, I call it helping, because I’m a little older and a little wiser, and I say, “I know you’re on top of the world, I understand that, however, the gravy train is going to end.” Believe it or not, this is the first interview I’ve done since this happened, I ran into Justin Bieber, two weeks ago. He was at Jerry’s Deli in Studio City, I had just left and he was going in, I said to myself, “this is gonna be fun.” He was there with two of his boys in the booth and one guy standing outside. I went up to him and introduced myself, he didn’t have a clue who I was, his boys knew who I was though. I’m talking to him, giving him the speech, and he’s like looking, “huh, okay, that sounds good.” Maybe 10% of it got in, maybe not, you can lead the horse to water, you can’t make him drink. The other guy standing outside the booth came over and said, “hey, they gonna order?” I started talking to him, first thing he says is, “who the hell are you?”

[45:44] Scott: Nobody talks like that, nobody has any concern, nobody has any care, they want an autograph and a photo op, they wanna go gaga because they’re in front of Justin Bieber. And he goes, “you could’ve been talking to anybody.” I said, “That’s right, the kid sitting there eats, sleeps, and bleeds just like I do, the difference is he’s got nine zeros in his bank account and I don’t, but I’d like him to save his nine zeros so when this all ends, by the time he’s 30 and yesterday’s news, he never has to look back with any regrets, he’s got plenty of money to do anything in the world he wants, if he wants to quit show business, buy a 100 acre ranch in Montana, he can do it and live happily ever after.”

[46:33] Bobby: I think a kid actor who did it right, you worked with him, the actor who played Ralphie in A Christmas Story, isn’t he a big producer now?

[46:43] Scott: Peter Billingsley runs Vince Vaughn’s production company.

[46:51] Bobby: Wow, yeah, he did Iron Man.

[46:54] Scott: He was friends with Jon Favreau for years, they go all the way back to the Rudy days. From the story I understand, Favreau asked him if he could help a buddy of his out who was coming to LA, didn’t know anybody, sure, okay, even gave the guy 100 bucks for his head shots, and the guy said, “if I ever make it in this town, you’re my boy.” And that guy was Vince Vaughn.

[47:22] Jason: Whoa.

[47:23] Bobby: That is so cool.

[47:25] Jason: Just from being cool and being a nice guy, that’s amazing.

[47:30] Scott: It’s not even a matter of being a nice guy, if we’re homies and you’re my buddy and you say, “you got a two-bedroom apartment, I got a studio, I got nowhere to put this guy, he’s a nice guy, he’s an actor coming up, help him out for a couple weeks to get on his feet,” well of course you’re gonna say yes. And I make a joke, I’ve done standup, I say, “I’ve had 100 people sleep on my couch, not one of these freaking people have ever done a goddamn thing.”

[48:04] Bobby: What do you think about, I’m curious your opinion, ’cause Jason and I talked about this in a couple other episodes, the whole Corey Feldman deal, another big ’80s kid actor, I see him doing this crazy routine on the Today Show, did you see that?

[48:23] Jason: What’s your interpretation of that?

[48:27] Scott: Let’s see how I wanna say this to be semi-politically correct. He is stuck in 1987, he’s always been that way, he’s the exact opposite of Richard Pryor, because Feldman’s ego is bigger than the Grand Canyon. He believes the press, he believes who he is, and has he had an easy go of it? No, most of it’s been self-induced, when you piss it away on drugs and booze and broads, that’s what happens. He has survived with a lot of luck, a lot of people feeling sorry for him. He blamed his father for stealing his money, which was inaccurate, basically 85% of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is bull. I actually sat down with him one time and broke it all down, it came down to $8,000 a year was missing, quote unquote “missing.” I said, “This is funny, ’cause we haven’t put a shirt of clothing on your back or food in your stomach, so tell me how much money your father stole from you.” He said, “No, that can’t be right.” He said, “I made 1.2, 1.3 million.” I said, “You don’t understand you have cousins and uncles? Your uncle Sam, he’s your favorite guy, you gotta pay him 30%. You got a cousin, the state of California, they want another 8 to 10%. Then you got an aunt, she’s your agent, takes another 10%. Then you got a PR guy taking 3, 4,000 a month.” It went on and on of things that were completely oblivious. He’s got this Michael Jackson thing because that’s what he thinks is cool, and people laugh at him. He’s made more money doing albums that nobody’s ever bought.

[50:57] Bobby: It’s funny you mention the Michael Jackson connection with Corey Feldman, I remember watching Dream a Little Dream, he did this kind of dance where he seemed to be imitating Michael Jackson, and it continues today, he’s living in those times.

[51:18] Scott: He’s stuck back there, he wants to be Hugh Hefner, because he’s got his house with his angel girls, they all wear the white wings, do the lingerie and all the nonsense, and have rules they have to live by in his house.

[51:36] Bobby: Craziness.

[51:37] Scott: It’s all out there, it’s not stuff I’m saying, it’s inside information. He did Celebrity Wife Swap with Tommy Davidson, it was all there, his girlfriend got on Tommy Davidson’s countertop naked, having sushi on her body so Tommy Davidson could eat it off. And Tommy Davidson said, “What are you doing, get the hell out of my house.”

[51:56] Jason: This is like the polar opposite to everything you already talked to us about.

[52:04] Bobby: Yeah.

[52:05] Jason: This is crazy.

[52:05] Bobby: What not to do.

[52:09] Scott: I don’t say bad things about many people, I believe if you treat me with dignity and respect, that’s how I’m going to treat you, you don’t, this is what you’re gonna get.

[52:25] Bobby: Yeah, man, it’s sad. Tell me what you’ve been working on, you said you have a new TV show, we need to hear about that.

[52:33] Scott: The new TV show is called Flashback Fridays, it’s on Vimeo on Demand, vimeo.com/ondemand/flashbackfridays. I’ve got a band behind me on stage, five shows in the can so far, two with Anthony Michael Hall, one with Frankie Banali, the drummer from Quiet Riot.

[52:55] Bobby: Nice.

[52:56] Scott: Frankie is awesome. We did a show with Jeremy Miller from Growing Pains, and a show with Michael Pare, who was the star of Eddie and the Cruisers and Streets of Fire, and many other TV shows.

[53:09] Bobby: You have some great guests, we’ll definitely get a link up for you on our website and social media.

[53:17] Scott: That’d be great, I’m gonna be shooting some more shows in about a month. Until I shoot them I can’t say who I’ll have, if anything happens people go “hey, you said this,” no, I don’t do that. Very fortunate that I’ve been around, my first commercial shoot was March of ’77, so as of the end of next March we’re five, six months away, I will have been in the business for 40 years, and I’m not screwed up, not pooped, not on drugs, don’t drink more than maybe a glass of wine here and there. I’ve done cocaine one time in my life, but I didn’t really have much of a choice, when women are getting naked you gotta do what you gotta do. I was 19 years old, I did it, and the next morning I got up and made one phone call, I called Richard Pryor.

[54:21] Scott: I said, “Did this last night and this is what happened.” He said, “Well, are you okay?” I said “yeah,” it was something small, he said, “you pushed the envelope a little bit, you didn’t go crazy, and I understand.” Then all he wanted to talk about was how many of them did I schtup, and that was the end of the phone call.

[54:41] Jason: Getting right to the important stuff.

[54:42] Bobby: Oh man, that’s great. The TV show sounds exciting.

[54:47] Bobby: You were telling me that…

[54:48] Scott: The TV show is fun. We had, I don’t know if you know him by name, but the guy’s name is Charlie Schlatter, he did the movie 18 Again with George Burns, it’s like Freaky Friday, they change places.

[55:07] Scott: And he’s the star of a movie called Heartbreak Hotel, where him and Tuesday Weld plays his mother, he kidnaps Elvis Presley, who David Keith is playing. It’s kind of this cute little movie. So he’s the drummer and the leader in the band, I asked him if he would come do it and he couldn’t say yes fast enough ’cause we’re friends. Here we are on stage, we’ve got toys and games vintage from the ’80s and ’90s, everything from Godzilla things to my little doggy Miss Elizabeth, I made an action figure of her on a Star Wars action figure, and I had WWF action figures and a Hulk Hogan cape from Thunder Lips from Rocky III.

[56:01] Bobby: Yo, man, you’re a man after my own heart, you’re a collector, if you saw our studio I have so much memorabilia, you would definitely appreciate it.

[56:15] Scott: My dad’s had, for the last 28, going on 29 years, a shop here in the LA area, it’s called Sports and Movie Stuff, in Simi Valley, California, about 4,000 square feet of stuff.

[56:33] Bobby: Yo, Jason and I will make a pilgrimage there, we have to see that.

[56:40] Scott: It’s walking in a museum, you wanna see stuff from the ’20s, no problem, from the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s, you got it. He doesn’t buy the new Funko Pop head things, that’s not what he does, you want Roy Rogers, Hopalong Cassidy, vintage Disney, authentic stuff, photos, toys, games, dolls, action figures, that’s what you come there for.

[57:06] Bobby: Did you keep any props from your films, or memorabilia?

[57:13] Scott: From The Toy, I have my military uniform, my motorcycle uniform, the Spider-Man pajamas, the bottoms grew legs and ran away but I still have the top. Some other shirts and stuff they gave me. Christmas Story, zero, nothing, it was all rented wardrobe.

[57:42] Bobby: Yeah, $4 million doesn’t go far.

[57:46] Scott: Peter has one of the bunny suits they made for him, specially made, and the kid who plays Randy, the little brother, Ian Petrella, has one of the snowsuits, specially made for him, and they gave him the zeppelin from the Christmas tree scene.

[58:07] Scott: Outside of that, nothing. I did another film called Kid Co, got a few pieces, my boots and a couple shirts, in boxes somewhere. I was really after Richard’s stuff, even back then, I wanted his Spider-Man pajamas. I went on the set when he was shooting Brewster’s Millions in Manhattan, he introduced me to John Candy and all that. I told him I wanted the Chicago Cubs thing, I was always a diehard Yankee fan, that was always my first team, the second team was always the Cubs. He said, “One of these days I’m gonna find this shirt and send it to you,” and that just never happened, that’s just the way things go, I never bothered him for it again.

[58:58] Bobby: Right. You were telling me, we have a lot of listeners who watched a dance show that Jason and I were on, Dance Party USA, and you mentioned you remember the show, is that true?

[59:11] Scott: Yes, I knew a member of the cast.

[59:18] Jason: Cool.

[59:20] Scott: Her name was Casey, I don’t know what last name she went by back then, but she was one of the dancers on the show during Kelly’s time there, and she was my ex-wife.

[59:32] Bobby: Oh.

[59:33] Bobby: We have a connection there.

[59:37] Bobby: You’re from Jersey, so the show is really big in the tri-state area, and we had a lot of fun.

[59:45] Scott: If you guys are big in the tri-state area, October 28th, 29th, and 30th, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, is the Chiller Theatre Show, in Parsippany, you can go to chillertheatre.com. They’ve got about seven celebrities there, including Meat Loaf from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Tim Curry is doing an appearance, doing photo ops.

[60:09] Scott: And there’s a group of celebrities, I will be there handling some of the folks, Michael Pare will be there, Frankie Banali will be there.

[60:18] Bobby: Good lineup.

[60:18] Scott: Poppy Fields, who did Wish Master and some voiceover for Shrek and one of the Star Wars animated series. Still working some things out with a few other people, it’s a great show, if people like science fiction, horror, sci-fi movies, their dealers room has a couple hundred dealers of memorabilia, and there’s like 70 celebrities to come out and see.

[60:52] Jason: Got it. What’s the date again?

[60:55] Scott: October 28th, 29th, and 30th.

[60:58] Bobby: Do you ever make it to Vegas?

[61:01] Scott: Sure, I have friends in Vegas, one of the guests who’s gonna be there is Terry Weigel.

[61:08] Bobby: Oh yeah, I remember her.

[61:11] Scott: Terry Weigel was on Married With Children, the great looking brunette who comes in, “Shoeman, Shoeman, you gotta help me, Shoeman.” And the guy who’s Darcy’s husband, I can’t remember his name in the show now.

[61:27] Jason: I know who he is, I can see his face, I don’t know his name either.

[61:31] Scott: Mr. Darcy, he’d always say, “No, I’m sorry, we’re closed,” and she’d go, “That’s funny, most of the time they close the door when I’m inside,” and then she leaves. She was also a Playboy playmate, was in Return of the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

[61:49] Bobby: Oh yeah, big one.

[61:51] Scott: She played George’s girlfriend.

[61:53] Jason: I think I remember that VHS cover.

[61:56] Bobby: That’s cool, man. It was a great time talking to you, did you enjoy your conversation?

[62:03] Scott: Oh, these are great, this is fun.

[62:05] Bobby: Awesome, we’ll definitely hook up with you in LA in the future, you gotta bring us over to your father’s store.

[62:14] Scott: Yeah, if you’re coming here, that’s good, if I’m going to Vegas I’ll let you know, my friend is the vice president of the Arena Football League, their offices are off the 215.

[62:25] Jason: Anytime, man.

[62:29] Bobby: Awesome, bro, we really appreciate it, we’ll definitely be speaking to you again.

[62:34] Jason: Thanks, Scotty.

[62:35] Bobby: Take care.

[62:36] Scott: You guys be well, I’ll talk to you guys soon.

[62:37] Jason: Take care, bro, you got it, man, you’re the man, thanks.

[62:40] Bobby: Now bro, that was a ton of fun.

[62:42] Jason: That was great.

[62:43] Bobby: He’s so cool, man, he’s just one of the guys.

[62:45] Jason: He’s totally one of us, we’d be sitting here right now having a beer, and he’s just so cool.

[62:50] Bobby: And that new show he’s working on, he said his first guest is Anthony Michael Hall, and that’s a great first guest, I’m excited to see that show.

[62:59] Jason: I’m excited to see what they talk about, ’cause they’re probably boys from back in the day, these guys, running around doing all those movies together.

[63:04] Bobby: So there you go, there’s Scotty Schwartz, some inside scoop on that movie we all know backwards, forwards, inside out.

[63:15] Bobby: And he also gave us a great insight about The Toy and about his personal relationship with Richard Pryor, which I really loved hearing about.

[63:21] Jason: Me too.

[63:22] Bobby: I didn’t know any of that.

[63:23] Jason: Yeah, you don’t know any, and the fact that Jackie Gleason embraced him, who didn’t like pets or kids.

[63:28] Bobby: Yeah, you know what’s amazing, that Scott was standing between Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor, two legendary comics and actors.

[63:38] Jason: Yeah.

[63:38] Bobby: It doesn’t get better than that.

[63:41] Jason: Wow. So we’re planning a little trip out to LA to go talk to a couple people, and we’re definitely gonna see Scotty and go check out his memorabilia store, his dad’s place.

[63:52] Bobby: Sounds like a lot of fun, we’ll definitely do that. So is it that time?

[63:55] Jason: It is that time. The mail bag, that’s it.

[64:02] Bobby: It’s the mail bag. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that’s it, give me the mail bag.

[64:08] Jason: That’s it, great, you’re awesome.

[64:09] Bobby: So what do we got? You’ve got some comments, don’t you?

[64:14] Jason: You want me to read the email? I’ll read the comments first, from our social media places like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, direct messages.

[64:24] Bobby: First one is from Patty Marraconda, she wrote before, one of our listeners. She says, “I think this was the funniest podcast yet. Between you guys being so silly and the little clips you were playing, I was cracking up driving to work. Love that you have made your glitches part of the show. Shows you what good sports you both are. As always, great show.”

[64:49] Jason: Ah, see that’s nice.

[64:50] Bobby: We are good sports, the glitches are actually a big part of our show, we enjoy busting each other’s chops.

[64:59] Jason: We rib each other and it’s all in good fun.

[65:01] Bobby: It’s all in love, we’ve been doing it forever. This one’s from Katarina Denise, she says, “The podcasts are great, Bobby and Jason keep it up, the ’80s rock and so does Bobby and Jason.”

[65:14] Jason: Rock!

[65:16] Bobby: Thank you, Katarina. And the last comment is from Christian Kennedy Preachers, she says, “I am finally getting to listen to the first episode, going to listen to the rest this week. So many memories, I got a chance to be on a couple of the multi-filming days of the show, and it was a great time.”

[65:44] Bobby: Back in the day it was a lot of fun.

[65:46] Jason: It was really cool.

[65:48] Bobby: So what do you got?

[65:50] Jason: Holly Clovis, I don’t think I could screw this up, what’s up Holly, here we go, it’s a short one but it’s a good one. “Dumbest, awesomest Bobby and Jason podcast ever. Listening to you guys brings it all back, I’m a kid again. I still have a picture of Bobby he signed when I mailed him.”

[66:20] Bobby: Okay, get it right.

[66:21] Jason: That was mailed back in the ’80s. “Love the Facebook page, one day I’ll get brave and I’ll say something.” Well, I’m in the same boat with you, Holly. “P.S. Love your dog babies. Love, Holly.”

[66:34] Bobby: Yeah, oh, we love our dog babies too.

[66:36] Jason: There we go.

[66:36] Bobby: We got Harley the Frenchie and Jason’s pug.

[66:39] Jason: Sammy the pug, come on pal.

[66:40] Bobby: Sammy the pug, yeah, Sammy’s very cute and very healthy.

[66:43] Jason: And plump, and Harley is very yippity-yappity sometimes.

[66:49] Bobby: Full of energy, that one.

[66:51] Jason: I think as a matter of fact, in this podcast she makes an appearance during the end, you’ll hear Harley.

[66:57] Bobby: Oh shit. Well bro, it’s over.

[67:02] Jason: What a show.

[67:04] Bobby: It’s sadly over, and it was a great show, Scott Schwartz, the man, the myth, the legend.

[67:09] Jason: So I double dog dare you, Roberto, give me a little countdown out of here.

[67:13] Bobby: Okay, this podcast will self-destruct in five, four, three, two, one. Boom, ba-boom, we’ll see you later, everybody.

[67:24] Jason: Take it easy, everyone.